“Dilla Novita Rizki”... my name being called as a main delegate from Banten Province for Australia Indonesia Youth Exchange Program (AIYEP) 2019. From 40 finalist, only 3 names are being called for three different program which is Ship for Southeast Asian and Japanese Youth Program (SSEAYP), Indonesia-Korea Youth Exchange Program (IKYEP) and AIYEP, I am one of them. I remembered at that time, my hand was shaking. Up and down, tears and smile, sorrow and happiness are things that happened during my PPAN journey.
In 2016, I still a third-year student majoring in Politics and Government Sciences at the Faculty of Social and Political Sciences, Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM). I always thrill an eager to learn and gain more experience, that is why I ventured to register selection of PPAN Yogyakarta. Yogyakarta Province allows PPAN registrants not only for those who residing there but also open to migrants, therefore it is necessary to include a Temporary Residence Certificate (SKTS). Selection in Yogyakarta is very strict, since the beginning the registrants have been selected through administrative stages which include essays. The number of registrants at that time I heard was more than a thousand people, only about 100 people who passed and I become one of those people, I was so happy. At that time the program that I chose was the Asian Student Visit India (ASVI). The participants and alumni were amazing people, so insecure was a natural thing that I felt.
I went through step by step, tasks given on this selection process are clashed with my midterm test, but I was able to manage all of it. It turned out that I could be one of the 20 finalists that can join the final. On D day at the location, I saw several people crying and said that they could not join the quarantine and final step because their documents were rejected or incomplete. I felt quite confident with the completeness of my document, but when the committee checked, it turned out that I also could not participate in the final stage either. The reason is because my TOEFL certificate only a Paper Based Test (PBT), while the standard accepted by the selection committee is Institutional Testing Program (ITP). My hopes of becoming a delegate for the ASVI program was foundered.
One year later, I was already a fourth-year student or called as a final year student. I was also an intern at the Youth Studies Center (YouSure) Faculty of Social and Political Sciences at UGM. I plan to take part in the PPAN selection again, this time I will join the selection in my hometown which is Banten Province. Selection was started at the city/regency level, in the City of Serang itself selection occurs on weekdays so I need to submit a leave permit to my boss at YouSure. I take 14 hours train from Lempuyangan Station to Serang Station. The selected 5 people at the City / Regency level were sent to take part in the Banten Province level selection, and I was one of them.
Finalists from other cities and regencies in Banten province made me feel inferior because they looked so great and smart. But based on the PPAN selection experience that I have before, I was ambitious and confident enough to be a delegate of the SSEAYP. But again, I need to accept the fact that I was not selected as one of the main PPAN delegates. One of the things that made me slumped down was, 4 Serang City representatives were elected (3 people were the main representatives and 1 person was the reserve) and I was the only one that not being called. My mind crossed with a variety of questions that make me doubted my quality and capacity. After that, I had a bit insecure with myself, felt not good enough and failed. I was discouraged and decided that I would not take part in the PPAN selection again.
I finally graduated with S.IP degree and got a job that I liked because of the focus of issues that suit my interests. One of PPAN Banten alumni contacted me about PPAN Serang City registration, he ask me to apply and said maybe this time is my time to be selected. I took the time to think whether I would join again or not, if so then this would be my third time. I'm still curious and still interested in becoming a part of PCMI, so I decided to follow the selection once more. I instilled in my mind and myself that this is the last time I take the PPAN selection, if it doesn't work then maybe this is not my fortune.
Serang City level selection was carried out for 2 days and on weekdays, because it was intended so I submit permission for 2 days' leave from my office. I was chosen as one of 5 people who will represent Serang City for the final stage at the Provincial level. The night after I was chosen, I began to be faced with a dilemma. Provincial-level selection is only less than 2 weeks away and carried out for several days on weekdays. If I join, of course I have to apply for leave days again. I’m not sure to submit another leave days with a short range of time, I was afraid that my leave request would not be accepted. Apart from that I was thinking and asking a question, if I am elected later what will happen to my work?. I take quite a long time to think about it, I chose not to proceed to the final stage. I contacted one of the seniors regarding this matter, but he said it was not possible because the event will happen on the next 3 days. He also tried to convince me to stay in the selection process, the office where I worked also gave me leave days permission. Therefore, finally, I continued to take part in the selection of the final stage.
My office work took up enough of my time so that it was not enough to prioritize preparation for PPAN selection at the Provincial level. In the third selection this time I felt I was a different person. I'm not as ambitious as before, I'm more "nothing to lose" and "go with the wind" kind of person. Whatever the outcome will be, then that must be the best way for me, and this will be a part of my life experience. On the day of the announcement, I’m surprised that my name was called as a representative for AIYEP. I am very grateful, I feel this is the result of my struggle and attempt of several times following the PPAN selection.
Again, I faced a dilemma. AIYEP is not a short program, 4 months is not a reasonable time to apply for leave. I pondered and thinking about the decisions that I would choose later, whether to choose AIYEP or continue the work I had at that time. The place where I work has a good reputation, I like what I do, and the remuneration is good enough. Am I willing to let it go for AIYEP and don't know what my destiny will be after leaving the program? In the end, life is about choices, taking challenges and opportunities. I left my comfort zone, to get a challenge and experience. I choose PPAN! Being a PPAN delegate means being an ambassador for Indonesian youth on the international stage. Choosing PPAN means it's not just about me, but also about how I as a young person can benefit the environment, the surrounding community, the Province and the Country. I am ready to be the next Indonesia Youth Ambassador.
